Marriage / Relationships

How my husband learned to ignore me

A girlfriend called me the other day with a little vent session about her boyfriend’s new iPhone, poker addiction. She explained that as they ordered sushi to go, munched on dinner, and later reclined on the couch, he couldn’t pry himself away from his shiny new toy. As her usually helpful man ignored her, and all requests to select sashimi and set the table, she grew incensed. By the time it came to doing the dishes, the iPhone barely made it out alive. We laughed it off and admitted that we’ve all been guilty of technology-induced obliviousness but found ourselves wondering if men are more prone to one-track-minds (and not just when it comes to T&A).

Now, I’m not someone who likes to overly define what is male and female behavior. My man can be quite the crier, and I, at times, rather emotionally detached. I even read an article recently citing a 2006 McGill study in sexual behavior, which concluded that men and women have the same measurable, physical reaction to sexual images. Which leads me to think the notion that men are more visual is debatable. Reading Sallie Tisdale’s talk Dirty to me also has me thinking about gender bending. Are our ideas of what is male and female merely learned roles and costumes put on? These are questions for the ages.

Nevertheless, things being what they are in my house, my man does have this charming habit of what I like to call: DELAYED RESPONSE. It goes something like this: “What job are you working on tomorrow, love?” I ask, then wait thirty seconds for the words to permeate my sweetheart’s brain and follow up with: “Did you hear me, my love?”

“What’s that?” he says (usually staring at his Blackberry or the TV and pretending he hasn’t heard), then confirming that he has with: “Oh, I’m working on The Hills.”

We play this game often and to be fair I’m sure the huz could refute that I natter on when he’s clearly distracted. So perhaps men are from Mars and women from Venus after all. That, or maybe my man just learned this delightful trait from his dad. Thanks for that one, Chris.

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