Sex / women

Hiding your sex toys

I’ve had a hectic couple of days—between the day job, writing and whatnot—and preparing for my folks to visit for the weekend. In between loads of laundry and scrubbing our ever-stained, white stovetop yesterday, a girlfriend dropped by to say hello.Our convo went like this:

K: “Jesus, you’re really into the Ajax. I usually wait for my mom to come and clean my house for me.”
Me: “Yeah, I’m too waspy for that.”
K: “My mom likes to do it. Except she goes through everything.”
Me: “Everything?”
K: “Yeah she found my dildo.”
Me: “Eeks!”
K: “And put it in a box with condoms.”
Me: “A sex box!”
K: “Hey, if she wants to go through my stuff, that’s what she gets—a dildo and thoughts of her daughter masturbating.”
Me: “Wonder if she cleaned it?”

Funnily enough, I’d just watched the Sex and the City rerun where Miranda’s housecleaner replaces her vibrator with a Virgin Mary figurine. I figured in the post SATC era all women brazenly embraced their battery-operated friends, however, I was surprised to read about how many women deny that they masturbate in The Gloss. As for me, my clandestine companions will be carefully tucked away for the weekend. Now to scrub the shower grout.

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