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My Life as a Hollywood Assistant

Dearest Readers,

Apologies for the lack of posts as of late. I’ve been working full-time instead of part-time and I’m rather frayed around the edges. Here’s an analogy of the impossible feats I’ve been performing this week:

Me: “Hi, I was wondering if you could help me out. I’m shopping for something for my boss.”

Random Sales Person: “Sure, what’s he looking for?”

Me: “Well, he’s in the market for something that’s never in stock. Do you have anything like that?”

RSP: “I’m not sure what you mean…”

Me: “He’d like to think about purchasing an item but never actually do it, so if you could order something that’s never in stock, and then I’ll call in and check on it every so often and report back to him.”

RSP: “I’m still not sure what you mean but our Olympian themed toothpick holders have just been discontinued…”

Me: “Perfect! I’ll take three.”

Right then, must run. Off to purchase a few more Dodo birds before they all run out!

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