Apologies for the piss poor BlackBerry photo, you get the gist

Well, it’s been a whirlwind few days but I did manage to channel my feelings about “sexy everything” costumes into one of my fave Halloween getups of all time—sexy schizophrenic. What is that, you ask? Well, my confused alter ego was a combo of sexy nurse, schoolgirl, kitten, bunny and French maid. Outfit completed by bloodied wrist bandages. A little dark, admittedly, but I must say I thought I was looking pretty darn sassy. That is, until I arrived at a party in Beverly Hills. As it turns out, the newest incarnation of sexy dress up is simply: sexy naked girl. Or, err, pasties and thong. I kid you not. My first guess for what our naked gal could possibly be was sexy Avatar as she seemed a faintly bluish tint. My friends, however, insisted she was Eve. That made more sense and even seemed somewhat original. But no, no. When we had a chance to find out verbatim, it turns out she was a wood nymph. But of course. She was in good company with all the other archetypal whores of the forest, a.k.a.—sexy Dorothy, devil, Pocahontas, and cop. Sigh. I’ll be seeing you girls next year. Next go around I think I may try to pull off a preggers Demi Moore, circa 1991. Bad idea? Possibly. Ah well, the world is full of them. God bless you, Hollywood.