men / porn / Relationships / women

He’s Just Not That Into Anyone… And She Wishes He’d Shut Up About It

This week I’ve been following the buzz surrounding Davy Rothbart’s He’s Just Not That Into Anyone in NY Mag’s Porn issue. He also appeared on The Joy Behar Show this week to talk about the same issue, which is how watching too much Internet porn can decrease one’s appetite for the real thing and cause some men (like Davy) to fake their orgasms. Rothbart’s article has received a lot of flack on the girly blogs. Not least of all in this rant on The Hairpin between Julie Klausner and Natasha-Vargas Cooper. These gals seemed to feel that he was blaming porn for his diminishing libido and in turn did a whole lot of dissing and shaming of a dude for talking about jerking it too much and faking orgasms.

I’m not saying by any stretch that this is an every-man problem. But to say that it’s not something valid to bring to the discussion table in 2011 seems daft. I appreciated the honesty in He’s Just Not That Into Anyone even if some of the lines did make me cringe–Neil Young, dry condom, nuff said. But the fact of the matter is — watching heaps of Internet porn affects people. It affects men and women and their interactions with each other. It is not anti-porn or blaming porn to recognize its influence. I walked away from Rothbart’s article with the message that he’d developed a new awareness and learned that watching an hour of porn every other day might be better for his libido and his relationships. And from where I sit, hearing a dude talk about that is refreshing.

Anyway, after that rant about jerking off to porn and people’s feelings about people talking about jerking off to porn, I will now celebrate the fact that this is  my 100th blog! Woot!! Thank you so much for tuning in, readers. I am popping the metaphorical bubbly over here, AKA chugging the dregs of my coffee and rushing out the door to work. Until next time…

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