Marriage / Relationships

The Three Year Glitch – Signs of Relationship Failure or Success?

This morning I’ve been reading all about the three-year glitch, formerly known as the seven- year itch or the point in a relationship where things go deeply south. This UK study reveals that the small, irritating behaviors we often overlook at the beginning of a courtship now begin to grate at about 36 months. The list of particular relationship-dooming gripes includes:

My man and I have now been together for almost seven years and married getting on three, all together we are well into the itchy-glitchy zone. To boot, there is no question that hubby and I exhibit at least six out of seven of these so-called “passion killers.” Weight gain? Check—we’ve each put on a married five-to-ten. Lack of money? Um, yeah, we call our abode “the poverty castle.” As for anti-social working hours, don’t even get me started.

But despite the ways I could negatively interpret this information, I’m actually rather encouraged by it. Why’s that, you ask? Well, this list reminds me of a conversation I had with a perpetual, forty-something bachelor friend of mine. When he asked me how I knew that Robbie was the one, I said: “Because he didn’t (and doesn’t) annoy the crap out of me.” Sound unromantic? My bachelor friend thought it did. But you see, I’m usually an easily irritated kind of gal. So when I found a guy, who, six months in, let alone seven years in, didn’t irk me whatsoever, I knew I’d struck gold. I think most people can call up moments where the tell-tale signs of annoyance signaled their lack of compassion and affection for a mate. On the other hand, when you’ve been with someone for seven years and swiping up a pile of their toenail clippings from the coffee table, or gently rolling them over to silence a roaring, open-mouthed snore doesn’t even register on a scale of one to atrocious, I think you know you’ve found the one.

Anyway, I don’t mean to brag here. Hubby and I do annoy each other now and again and have our share of marital spats but it’s clearly our underlying feelings for each other that determine our ability to overlook unsightly behavior (AKA my bottom of the drawer skivvies from 1998). You do overlook those, don’t you, hon? Here’s hoping…

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