beauty pageants / whatever / women

Who Wants to Be Miss USA?

Last night, over a late sushi dinner with hubby, I found myself seriously distracted from my spicy tuna handroll by the Miss USA pageant. It is a pet peeve of mine to be bombarded by flat screens in restaurants. But all the same, I had trouble ignoring the bikini clad Barbies with bouffant hair framing my husband’s head.

What on earth propels a gal to want to be Miss USA, I wonder? I just did a little Googling and the answers seem to be scholarship money, a sense of philanthropic duty, plus the pursuit of rock-hard abs and sequins. It’s just unfortunate that these aspiring women wind up looking so dumb on Network TV. I’m sorry, girls, but nobody cares what you think of legalizing marijuana.

The other thing that baffled me about the Miss USA pageant last night was that it seemed to be taking place in 1985. If you look closely you’ll see that Miss Tennessee unstuck little mirrors from a disco ball and sewed them on her dress.  Miss California clearly re-watched Daryl Hannah in Splash for her evening gown inspiration. And I’m quite sure that Miss Alabama stole my old babysitter’s prom dress.

Alas, today the world continues mostly the same, just with a little less frosty pink lip-gloss and hairspray.

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